


Not alone

by Miktokki514



Series: Just two floors above [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Cuddle, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, My First Fanfic, Sickfic, Wonho-centric, because it ruins the fun, introspective, kinda AU with no covid, lots of feels, monsta x loves wonho, wonho loves monsta x
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27189643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miktokki514/pseuds/Miktokki514
Summary: "There was only one thing Hoseok feared more than high places, scary stuff, and insects. It was that period of the year when leaves started to turn into warmer colors, leaving behind the heat of the summer and welcoming the first cold days of autumn."Or, Wonho gets sick for the first time after leaving the group.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Everyone
Series: Just two floors above [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082486
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Not alone

**Author's Note:**

> BIG DISCLAIMER: As sad as it is, I feel like I need to write this. This work is a fanfiction, it DOES NOT represent Wonho's feelings, as I don't know him and I can't know what he's thinking. Everything is based on my interpretation and probably on how I would have reacted in the same situation. I obviously don't know what really happened in the past months and how Wonho has been coping with everything, so this does not represents reality.  
> Point two, this is an OT7 fanfiction. If you don't want to read about Wonho with the rest of the members (why are you even here lmao), just close this.  
> In conclusion, enjoy, and thank you for reading. English is not my first language, and this is my first fanfic ever in English, so there may be mistakes, feel free to correct me!

_NOT ALONE_

There was only one thing Hoseok feared more than high places, scary stuff and insects. It was that period of the year when leaves started to turn into warmer colours, leaving behind the heat of the summer and welcoming the first cold days of autumn.

It didn't matter if he was busy or not, nor if he was taking care of his own health better than usual.

As soon as the first cold winds blow, Hoseok gets sick. It was almost an universal truth.

The first thing he regretted when he woke up that morning was not wearing a jacket the day before. It had started as a sunny day and he thought it would have been warm enough. Well, it clearly didn't and he was shivering when he arrived home early in the morning. And apparently the hot shower didn't really help avoiding turning into a mess.

The second thing he regretted was being all alone.

It has been almost a year since he had to watch his whole world crushing in front of his powerless eyes, forcing him to make the most extreme decision of his life. He didn't have any other choices back then, but he couldn't remember all the times he hated himself for not being brave enough to stick at his place.

That was one of those times.

Since he had bought his own apartment, that was the first time he had to face his own illness alone, not with his mother and also without his members. They actually lived two floors below him. He had bought that apartment because he didn't want to be completely alone and because he didn't want to complicate things going back to the dorm. That was the easiest way. Still, he didn't want to impose or to create problems, especially because he knew really well how busy his members were during the weeks before a comeback. Giving him attention just because he was feeling a bit lonely was the last thing they needed during that stressful period.

And it wasn't like Hoseok couldn't take care of himself. He was an adult, after all.

Hoseok shifted uncomfortably under his cover, trying to ignore the splitting and annoying headache and a shiver down his spine. His alarm hadn't rung yet and he was already tired. He moved a hand under the pillow until he found his phone.

It was still early morning, as he could understand from the dark in his room despite the light curtains. He remembered that he was supposed to wake up early that day for a photo-shoot for a magazine and he sighed heavily, pushing on his arms to get himself seated. He was slightly lightheaded and he could feel his throat hurting, but it wasn't something new, nor something he didn't know how to face.

Hoseok kicked the covers from his legs and got up, heading immediately to his brand new bathroom and opening the warm water in the shower. He got a glimpse of his face in the mirror. He was pale and tired, his hair didn't have a shape and he could feel the unhealthy warmth of his body.

He took a quick shower, washing away the sweat of the night and clearing his mind. Living alone had its perks. He didn't have to wait for the bathroom to be free, he could wake up late and still manage to arrive on time and he could eat whatever and whenever he wanted, without the nagging of his mother or of his members, who used to scold him for not having breakfast everyday. Regardless of what he said to convince himself, though, the truth was that he wasn't used to that big and quiet house. He still felt uncomfortable and lonely. He sometimes couldn't stand the silence and he always had some music playing in the background or he kept the TV on so that he didn't feel so alone.

Hoseok tried to change the pattern of his thoughts, drying his body and trying to remember what he was supposed to wear. They were going to give him clothes anyway, but he still liked to show his style in every moment, especially when he had to film for his YouTube channel as well. He wore a pair of beige cargo pants, a black t-shirt and a huge sweater which was a gift from his fans. This time, he didn't forget his jacket, leaving it on the bed instead than in the wardrobe.

He then entered his spotless kitchen -special thanks to his mom who always helped him keeping his house clean- and decided to eat a banana and then take some medicine to help him go through that day. It hasn't started yet, and Hoseok was already craving the time he could go back to his bed and sleep.

Hoseok was still eating, checking his fancafe and some messages in the meanwhile, when his new manager texted him that he was waiting in the parking lot. Hoseok sighed. He liked his new manager, he was young and precise, but he was so eager to do everything perfectly that he was always extremely early and he nagged a lot when he was stressed.

Still, Hoseok didn't want to keep him waiting and gulped a couple of pills from his never ending stack of medications, throwing the glass in the sink. He wore his jacket and a cap, he took his wallet and his phone and he left his apartment. He usually ignored the elevator, but that morning he was so tired that he couldn't bring himself to run down seven floors through the stairs. He pressed the button for the basement and then he leaned on the wall, closing his eyes to avoid the annoying neon light on the ceiling, while sinking his hands in the pockets of the jacket.

It was barely 7am, so he didn't meet anyone. Hoseok couldn't hide the fact that he was disappointed every time he didn't run into his members on the elevator or in the parking lot, but he never said anything about it. He knew that it was childish and he had to learn to cope with his new life.

Hoseok recognized his company's car and he opened the door, sliding in the passenger seat and greeting his manager.

“Have you slept well?”, the young man asked, trying to find his eyes from below the cap.

Hoseok nodded at his question. He hadn't spoken yet that day and he was quite scared of how his voice would have sounded with that damn cold.

“Are you okay?”, the manager insisted.

“Just a little tired”, Hoseok mumbled, finding his air pod and sliding them into his ears.

“Today you have just the photo-shoot and a meeting in the afternoon with the Starship executives”, the manager told him before he could turn on the music. Then he started the car and left the parking lot, heading towards the centre of Seoul.

Hoseok had flinched at the company's name. He hadn't forgotten how disappointed he had felt one year before, watching his own company ignoring all the mess. They had told him to pretend as nothing was happening, that people would have forgotten soon, and to concentrate on the comeback. But how could he concentrate when his own lawyers didn't look that positive? How could he pretend that nothing was happening when his fans, the people he loved the most after his family, were turning their back at him? Not all of them, Hoseok was aware of it, but it still wasn't easy to ignore some comments. They made him feel guilty and wrong. The company didn't do anything to prevent the worse, and even if Hoseok was aware that it was his fault, he still resented them a lot.

Still, he didn't regret signing a contract with Highline. He had received some offers from other companies, but he was honestly scared of leaving everything behind. He never wanted to leave, actually, and Highline looked like the best compromise he could find. He could still work on his music and being with his members and his fans, the ones who remained. It didn't matter if the names were different, he could accept it.

His manager woke him from his own thoughts after half an hour. Hoseok recognized the place where he used to shoot with many magazines and tried to ignore the tears which started to form in the corner of his eyes. He wiped them quickly, noticing that he was starting to feel better compared to that morning. That was good. He needed to be at the top for his first photo-shoot after almost a year.

Hoseok followed his manager past the glass doors of the company, greeting a couple of staff who recognized him and congratulated him on his debut. The photographer from the magazine welcomed him with a big smile, explaining what kind of concept he wanted to show through his pictures. Hoseok paid attention to every detail, giving his opinion on a couple of topics and showing that he wasn't a rookie. That has been Hoseok's main thought during those promotions: showing that he was debuting as a soloist, but that he had five years of precious experience on his back.

Thankfully, his new company had given him a fixed set of staff, and he was glad to find familiar faces waiting for him in the waiting room. He was happy to have people who knew him by his side. They weren't his members, but at least he wasn't all alone by himself.

The photo-shoot went smoothly. He had to change various outfits and they had to style his hair in different ways, but Hoseok was quick to remember how to save his energy and be professional during the shooting itself. He wasn't at the best, but he managed to hide every discomfort in his body. He even filmed some scenes for one of his vlogs, showing the backstage through the camera and joking with his stylist about some uncomfortable pair of shoes. 

The shooting ended pretty quickly and, after a lunch at a local restaurant with his staff, his manager drove him back to the company. The meeting was at 4pm, so he had three hours for his gym routine and maybe to practice the new choreography he was learning.

The gym was pretty much empty at that hour and Hoseok isolated himself in his own mind, counting the repetitions out loud and trying to clean his brain of everything beside what he was doing.

That was the reason he almost screamed when he felt a hand touching his back. He turned quickly, almost dropping the weights he was holding, and sighed when he recognized a familiar face.

“Ya, Hyunwoo! I almost had a heart attack”, he whined, carefully putting the weights at their place before giving his friend all his attention.

Hyunwoo chuckled, moving a hand through his hairs. “Sorry, I called you. I thought you had heard me”.

Hoseok sighed, wiping the sweat with a towel. “I wasn't really listening”. He was feeling a little warm and lightheaded, but he ignored it. He didn't really want to show any weakness, not in front of Hyunwoo. He leaned against the nearest machine, sipping slowly from his water bottle.

“I was looking for you. We're throwing a surprise party for Jooheon”, Hyunwoo explained. “This evening, are you busy?”.

Hoseok shook his head. “I just have a meeting in a couple of hours, but it shouldn't last long”.

“It's perfect. Just drop at the dorm when you come back home. You can take a shower there if you need. Changkyun is going to keep Honey busy until 9, so you have plenty of time”.

“I'll come for sure!”, Hoseok exclaimed. It has been a while since he has spent time with his members and a surprise party for one of his favourite brothers was the perfect occasion to forget his lonely life for at least some hours. The time spent with them was hundreds time better than any form of therapy. 

“Then we'll wait for you. We asked for a free day before jumping into promotions so we're all at home. Just come when you're ready, the password is still the same”.

“I will”. Hoseok was extremely excited about that sudden invitation. Maybe because he wasn't feeling well physically, the past days he had felt more lonely and hopeless than ever. He just wanted to throw back time, but it wasn't possible, so he had to accept spending time with his members only when they both had their schedules free from promotions. It wasn't the best, but it was better than nothing. At least for the moment.

“Don't overwork yourself, Hoseok-ah”, Hyunwoo said while he was leaving, patting him on his head.

Hoseok nodded, waving back. He couldn't wait for that night. He was sure that some hours with his members would have healed every illness.

\---

Hoseok was exhausted.

His head was throbbing, his throat was dry and uncomfortable and he could barely keep his eyes open.

The meeting had lasted longer than he had expected.

The executives were talking about his next album and about the possibility for them to choose one of his songs for the upcoming Monsta X comeback. Hoseok had tried his best to participate and gave his opinions, but after the first couple of hours he started to isolate himself. He could feel his own temperature rising, he could barely control the shaking in his limbs and at some point he also had to fight against some pretty bad stomach cramps. He had excused himself to the bathroom, throwing up the whole lunch in the most silent and quick way possible. Luckily his manager had asked to postpone the rest of the meeting to the next day, and when Hoseok had come back to the meeting room, he had found it empty and silent. His manager had sent him a message and Hoseok had hurried to meet him in the basement parking lot, thanking him.

"Try to rest a little today. You don't have schedules tomorrow apart from the meeting in the afternoon. I'm going to come around 3.30 in the afternoon”.

With those words he had waved to his manager and he had stumbled towards the elevator. There was some bug in his mind, like a reminder for something he was supposed to do, but he was too tired to give it any attention.

Hoseok pressed the button for the 5th floor, leaning on the wall and closing his eyes. He was a mess. His head was thumping around his temples, making his vision blurry and confused. His whole body was aching, the worst part being definitely his throat and his chest because of the rough cough he had developed in the last hours. He was shivering, but at the same time he could feel his cheeks being warmer and sticky.

He barely recognized the "ping" which advised him that he had arrived. With his vision swirling in front of his eyes, Hoseok walked with his hand on the wall until he found his apartment.

Now he just had to remember his password and he finally could have gone to sleep.

\---

"What time will Hoseok arrive?".

Six guys were sitting in the living room in front of a table full of food. Kihyun, the one who had asked the question, was bringing the last dishes from the kitchen.

Hyunwoo shrugged in his shoulder. "He just told me he had a meeting. It must be running longer than expected if he hasn't written anything yet".

"It's pretty late," Hyungwon added, stealing a potato chip from a bowl.

"There were still people at the company when we left" Jooheon said, sitting beside Minhyuk on the sofa. "and it wouldn't be the first time for a meeting to run longer than it was expected", concluded Changkyun.

The rest of them just nodded.

"Then we can start eating, I guess" Hyunwoo said, patting his stomach. "It's gonna get cold anyway".

"Yeah, we…"

A loud bang interrupted Kihyun's sentence, and after a couple of seconds of silence they heard the familiar sound of a password being typed.

"It must be him!", Minhyuk exclaimed, jumping on his feet.

The person on the other part of the door was typing the wrong password, though, and Hyunwoo was sure he had told Hoseok they hadn't changed it.

"Wait". He walked towards the door, a sudden silence falling upon the group. "Hoseok?"

There was no answer. Hyunwoo held his breath, reaching out to open the door.

What he found on the other side was the last thing he was expecting to see.

Hoseok was leaning on the side of the door, a trembling hand still in the air. His face was flushed and his eyes were unfocused, as if he wasn't really watching what he was doing. Hoseok needed a couple of seconds to understand that the door had opened in front of his eyes and that he wasn't in front of his apartment, as he thought he was.

"What…". He didn't have time to speak because a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed him, waking him up enough to recognize where he was. He pushed a hand in front of his mouth and sprinted inside the house without even bothering to take off his shoes.

He knew where the bathroom was and he didn't have time to explain the details.

The six of them were extremely baffled at the scene. One moment they were starting to eat, the moment after they had opened the door to a strained and definitely sick Hoseok, who was heaving in their bathroom.

The pragmatic Kihyun was the first to move. He clapped his hands once, running towards the bathroom and kneeling beside Hoseok to help him. Hyunwoo sprinted on the second floor, picking from his closet a long sleeved shirt big enough to fit his friend and an old pair of trousers Hoseok had lent him years before. The rest of them, in the meanwhile, moved the table full of food away from the sofa, bringing it back to the kitchen and stealing some covers from Kihyun's room on the first floor. No one said anything, just sharing worried and nervous looks. 

Hoseok didn't know how long he had been kneeling on the cold floor of the bathroom. He was feeling extremely disoriented and confused, surrounded by hundreds of rumors and smells which he had thought he had forgotten.

At that point, despite the fever, he had understood that his body had moved on his own free will, stopping at the 5th floor out of habit instead of going to his own apartment. He didn't know if he was glad or not, in that moment he could just think about the burning sensation in his stomach.

"Hyung? Are you done?".

Hoseok recognized Kihyun's voice, his sweet and calm tone, and he nodded, pushing himself away from the toilet. His vision was still blurry, his breath was fast and unstable and he could feel some tears at the corner of his eyes. He didn't even move when Kihyun slided a hand on his forehead, leaning instead on his cold hand.

"You're a mess, Hyung! What were you trying to do?".

Hoseok was too tired to answer. He was too tired to think, too tired to stay awake. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted to close his eyes.

"Ya! Hyung, don't fall asleep yet. Hyunwoo Hyung!". Kihyun screamed when he saw Hoseok closing his eyes, ignoring his question and leaning against him. He was incredibly warm and sweaty, and he would have never moved him alone, especially if he wasn't awake.

Hyunwoo appeared at the door at that exact moment. "I'll help him. Can you see if you have something he can eat and take medicine?"

"Of course. Do you think we should call his manager?"

"We'll see. He can sleep here anyway".

At those words Hoseok suddenly woke up, understanding what was happening and the meaning behind them. He was being a burden.

He got up slowly on his trembling legs. "I'm sorry guys", he mumbled, holding into the sink and washing away the smell of his own sickness. He wasn't feeling any better, but somehow he had regained some consciousness of his surroundings.

"Hoseok, you…"

"I didn't want to interrupt. I can go back to my apartment".

"What are you saying?" Hyunwoo had his mouth open for the surprise and Kihyun had a serious look on his face.

"I'm f…"

"Don't even say it". Kihyun was clearly angry and Hoseok wasn't expecting that reaction. He frowned, looking at the shorter guy stealing the clothes Hyunwoo was still holding. "Take a shower and wear this. I don't want to hear you say you're fine when you aren't, Hyung. Nothing has changed".

And with those words Kihyun left the bathroom, slamming the door closed.

Hyunwoo and Hoseok shared a look, and the first sighed. "We still worry about you, Hoseok-ah. You don't have to hide".

Hoseok blushed, remembering how many times he had heard those words in the past years. He had thought things were different now, but he hadn't even considered the fact that they didn't need to live together to care for each other. "I'm sorry", he whispered, sticking his eyes to the floor to hide his tears.

"Don't cry, it's okay", Hyunwoo said gently, patting his head as a dad with his child. "Do you need some help though? You look pretty feverish".

Hoseok shook his head. "I can do it. Can… Can i really remain here tonight?".

"Of course you can. And not only when you're sick. You can come everytime you want. Isn't this the reason why you bought the apartment in this complex?"

Hoseok nodded, unable to speak because of the grip in his throat. He didn't want to cry, even if all of them were probably used to seeing his emotional side, especially when he was sick.

" Take a shower, we'll wait for you".

\---

When Hoseok entered the living room, he wasn't really surprised to see the six young men waiting for him.

They had created a huge fort in the middle of the room, using all their mattresses and blankets. They used to do this kind of sleepover party pretty often during their first years after debut, and Hoseok felt his eyes getting watery again.

"Hyung!"

They all welcomed him with a hug and big smiles, and they made him sit in the middle of the fort. Hyungwon had wrapped a cover on his shoulders, Jooheon had given him his Honeygom body pillow, Minhyuk had wrapped himself on his left arm and he still hadn't moved and Changkyun was still holding his hand. Hoseok was feeling horribly, but his heart hadn't been so happy in months.

After a couple of minutes Kihyun and Hyunwoo appeared from the kitchen holding a tray with a bowl and a glass of water.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Hoseok asked, while Kihyun placed the tray in front of his folded legs.

"We're fine, try to eat some of this and take the medicine".

Hoseok had to fight his tears again. He wasn't used anymore to feel that warm feeling in his chest, it was something unique and special, something not even his mother made him feel.

He lowered his eyes, moving the tray on his legs and sipping a bit of warm chicken soup. "It's delicious, thank you", he murmured.

"I hope you haven't been living on hamburgers and protein shakes, Hyung", Kihyun commented, sitting in front of him.

Hoseok hesitated, then he decided to answer with a little nod. He kept eating with his eyes focused on the bowl. He didn't have the courage to look at his brothers in the eyes, especially not in those conditions.

For a couple of moments nobody said anything and the only sound in the room was the sipping of the soup from the spoon.

“I'm sorry, Jooheon-ah”, he whispered after a couple of seconds. “I forgot your birthday and...”. 

“Hyung, you don't have to apologize, you know”, the other answered, smiling softly. 

“You should have told me you weren't feeling well this morning”, Hyunwoo added. 

Hoseok just shrugged in his shoulders, putting the bowl back on the tray. He was feeling a bit nauseated and the constant urge to cry wasn't helping him. “I was fine this morning”. 

Kihyun gave him a glass of water and a couple of pills. “I meant what I said earlier, Hyung”, he said. “Nothing has changed, you can always count on us”. 

“I know, but...”. 

“We still love you, don't forget what we told you the other day”. Minhyuk gave him his best warm smile, the ones which used to comfort Hoseok even during the worst moments. 

Changkyun, being the smart maknae he was, held his hand stronger. “We're also at fault, Hyung. We were so busy that sometimes we forgot to check on you”. 

“It's not like I'm a baby”, Hoseok murmured. “I can take care of myself”. 

“We know”, Hyungwon said. “But it doesn't mean we can't help you. We are a family, after all”. 

Hoseok couldn't reply to those words, he just nodded slowly, letting the tears falling on his cheeks. It wasn't the first time they had talked about their relationship, it wasn't the first time that they had called their group a family, and Hoseok was hating himself for forgetting it. Their relationship was definitely something special, something that was built over years of trust and love, and it wasn't something that a contract could delete. Hoseok knew this, but sometimes it was difficult to remember himself that he wasn't alone. 

"You should sleep, Hyung, you look really tired". Minhyuk was gently stroking his back, comforting him with his warmth.

"Do you have schedules tomorrow?", Jooheon asked.

"Just a meeting in the afternoon", Hoseok sighed, rubbing the palm of his hands on his eyes and cleaning his cheeks.

"Then you can sleep here until then", Hyungwon said with a smile.

"We are free in the morning as well, aren't we?", Changkyun asked, and Hyunwoo nodded.

"Let's just go to sleep", Hyungwon insisted. He pushed Hoseok on his shoulder until he was laying down, and then he cuddled beside him. On the other side, Minhyuk never left Hoseok's arm, laying beside him and stroking his hair.

Hoseok was overwhelmed, in a positive way. The words they had told him kept swirling in his head, making him feel confused and disoriented. He let his brothers move him as they pleased: he was too tired to complain, anyway, and he was way too comfortable between those warm bodies.

He let Minhyuk play with his hair and he half listened to Hyungwon talking about the new song he was writing. The rest of the members had cleaned the living room quickly, removing the tray and bringing more blankets and pillows to their fort.

Ten minutes later, Changkyun was switching off the lights and he rushed to cuddle beside Jooheon. Nobody was talking, but it was a comfortable silence. A different silence from the one which hunted Hoseok's new apartment. A silence made of love and affection, a warm silence.

Without even knowing when, Hoseok felt asleep, comforted by the rhythmic sounds of his brothers' breathing, which culled him as a lullaby.

For the first time after months, he didn't feel alone.

For the first time after months, he finally felt at home. 

  
  
  



End file.
